Day 115: today was alright

Not perticularly interesting, but all right. Formal lab report die tomorrow. Joy unspeakable joy. (sarcasm)

Day 114: :(

I can't believe that I keep going back there. School I mean. There is nothing good for me there. As if I could possibly get an education under these circumstances. There is just no way.

Day 113: Is there a point?

I should just give up, shouldn't I. There is no way I can do this.  No way in hell.

Day 110: I'm shit at this

I'm shit. Really really shit. I don't post every day. I never have anything interesting to say, I misspell everything and I have no followers. Maybe one day I'll be better. Fat chance. I'm going to finish though. It's important.

Speaking of useless. This asshat Mark tried to ask me out today. As I'd I would ever go out with someone so self obsessed. Then latter I heard everyone chuckling behind my back. The choir filled me in. Apparently he had been 'joking.' I was totally mortified. Not to mention confused. Why would anyone think it was funny to ask me out, I'm gorgeous.

Oh, and by the way, I can't remember if I've told you this before but my BF broke up with me. He said I wasn't the same and that I was 'losing my touch.' Who the hell does he think he is? And what does that even mean? I'm going to burn him.

Day 108: Not going to miss another day

I don't have anything to say right now.

Day 107: this is the last day of break

I don't want to go back to school.

Let's move on.

How about no.

Day 106: I missed a day

•-•

Oops

Day 105: or some number like that

Why are you reading this. I mean seriously, don't you have better things to do? I sure hope so. No one would rather sit and read this over, well, pretty much anything else. I bet you don't even exist. I'm just sitting here putting my time and effort into nothing. Or maybe I'm yelling at a bunch of dumb kids who have nothing better to do.

I wonder witch is worse.

Day 103: Worried

I'm afraid I'm starting to lose the point of all this. It's been ages since I've actually talked about my life. Wasn't that the point? I don't even know anymore.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Day 102: break!

Going on break now yay!

Day 101: yarg

Nope

Day 100: O.o

Ooooooo my god. 100 days. This is insanity. Sheesh. Wow. So much time has passed. Like 100 days worth of time. Haha. I'm still not funny.

Bye for now!

Day 99: Weekend homework. Am I right?

I picked up my Sheet and scurried out of class. I nearly ran all the way to the front doors where my mom, I can't believe this used to be based on who have birth to you, was waiting with my dad, yes I know such a boring family.

Day 98: Wooooot

"So," she concluded by saying, "did the invention of the technology advanced enough to read into people's brains and find out who they truly were cause the advent of the new generation? You decide. A five paragraph essay on your desisions by Friday."
       The class groaned in unison.

Day 97: Friday!

Three days later and my history teacher was still trying to make the technological revolution interesting.

Day 96: Headache (litterally)

"See," Mr. Callsworth said, "there are side effects within a culture when a change this massive occurs. The way people think about things changed, not just the technology and way of life. "

Day 95: and still it drags on

"One is more positive, and the other us kinda depressing," Becca chimed in. Lewis added that the first one shoes more interesting consepts then the second.
       As this continued my mind began to wander. Becca and Lewis used to be names associated with a gender. How strange that must have been. To feel that your original organs determined something about who you were from birth.

Day 94: my stomach is mad

This here he said tapping the board is a well known example of his latter writing. 'With that final realization he sat down on the plush leather couch and closed his eyes, secure in himself.'
         Mr. Callsworth turned to the class. "What would you say the differences between these two quotes are?

Day 93: oh no

From the acclaimed author James Verde." Callsworth said. Then he began to read, "and it was then that she realized that it was her very hope for peace that had enslaved her, and without it the land would be free of oppression. " This is a well recognized piece of his writing pre scanning. After his writing style changed dramatically.

Day 92: ustcdtjb

"Now despite the obvious issue of not paying attention, Anna's thoughts here probably mirror that of the rest of the class." Mr Callsworth said, examining the class. "But I don't think so." He taped the wall and a paragraph of writing appeared on the surface. "Take a look at this sample of writing....

Day 91: I'm not going to finish am I?

Two days latter and I'm sitting in Litterature. I wasn't really paying attention. My mind was locked on the prospect of life post scanning. I began doodling pictures all over my notebook, of the things I would love, of the person I'd be. "Anna?" Mr. Callsworth asked. I looked up. "Anna how would you did robe the way art changed after the advent of life personalization?" I fumbled for a second, trying to figure out what he was trying to say.
    "Um, it got more free and full of expression?" I managed to say.

Day 90: Nope

Nope nope nope.

Day 89: Headache

I wondered what it would be like, to have a list. To have perpose and personality. And gender.

But, if I don't have those things now, what am I. Not girl or boy or in between. Not strong or weak. Not, well, not anything. I wonder if there was a song that was by a pre. I wondered if it had meaning or if it was just empty like the rest of us. I glanced at the countdown in the corner of the desk. Soon. Soon I will have myself. Soon I will finally be something.

Day 88: Sleepy

I looked down at the desk screan and checked the time. 23:08. 52 minuets till the end of class. Gah. Who could possibly think this was interesting. I watched the little white numbers slowly count up. This was unberrable. I full screened the notes page I had been working on. There was nothing but a few seemingly unconnected word scattered about. I picked up a Tpen and started doodling. This time it was a scanner. The ones the use to make kids' lists. 24 more days untill my own 13 th birthday.

Day 88: story time

Beginning in 2352 the legislature ratified the new amendment. All people were here by required by law to be given equal opportunity. In order to comply with this new law people were required to be scanned. This scan told the first people of the New Generation what they had always wanted to hear. The creative people became painters and the domestic people stayed with children. That was over one hundred years ago and now the technology may seem primitive but the ideas stuck. The system spread across the world, and now everyone lives the lives they want to live. It's the perfect system.

Day 87: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah

It's November!!!!!! I haven't even started nanowrimo. And I still need to make up for lost days. Everything is bad.

Day 86: There used to be day when I wasn't tierd

I need to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, but I have homeeeewooooooooooork. Wait. Wait. Tomorrow is Veteren's Day. Nooooooooooo schooooool!!!!!!!! YES! YEeeeeeeeeeeees!!!!!

Day 85: Going through the motions

Nothing much. Though I have become extremely addicted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Trust me it's amazing.

Day 84: Last words

I think I want my last words to be "Oh dear, that's bad. " And they could put it on my grave and stuff.

Maybe I think about this too much.

Day 83: Guess what

I'm tired again. Yep. I wish I had something to say, but truth be told everything has been kinda boring   I've just settled in to a new normal.

Day 82: Need Sleep

So exhausted. I can't even zzzzzzzzzz

Day 81: Perfect

Like I don't even have anything to bitch about. Everything is just fine and I'm on top of the world. I don't even care that I'm failing math. He's just so perfect.

Day 80: Oh god

Man I've missed a lot of days. Don't worry I'll go back and do them latter. I've just been so busy with the end of the quarter coming up and a new boy. Nah. Who am I kidding. I'm not even going to pretend. We've just been hanging out nonstop. He is perfect. Except....no. He's perfect.

Day 76: fidthcthn

Need sleep guys. Sorry, but no.

Day 75: Aaaaaaaaaah

Halloween tomorrow. Steve and I are going to s freind's house on Friday as Hades and Persephone. The web is being crapy right now, peace out suckers.

Day 74: ggstjtegb

Ugggghh. I should do homework. But I don't wanna.

Day 73: owls

Who are you to say were not in love? Who? Who are you? Who are you to say anything?

No neckbearded old man is going to tell me what to do with my life.

Day 72: Stars

I wonder why they call them that. Celebrities I mean. Their not that bright. They don't shine at night. They are not massive. They don't produce light. Though I guess they both are only out at night. Celebrities don't make matter. They really don't even madder.

Burned!

Day 71: Official

It's official! I finally have a new boyfriend. Aaaaaah. I'm so happy. I am literally grunting like a idiot right now just thinking about it.

Day 70: y d kv

My eyes hurt. I'm tired. I'm complaining. Bye.

Day 69: All's good

I'm just having a good day. So I guess that's, well, good. I just hung out with the choir kids after school, and they didn't seem to think it was weird I was still there, do that's good. For once I feel like I actually belong somewhere again.

Day 68: Better then expected

I went out on a date with my boyfriend today! I'm so happy were finally calling outselves together! I think it is safe to say everything is turning out better then expected.

Cross you fingers it turns out all right.

Day 67: Noteable

Not interesting has happened. Today was nice. I got to hang out with the choir kids after school because we both had something to work on. We just chatted. I feel like I'm starting to know them better. Lisa, this gorgeous almost actress pritty girl who is in my math class, I know the best. Ire ally enjoy spending time with her. Ok enough cheesiness. Bye!

PS. Sorry about short posts Internet, but I do have things to do.

Day 66: Tears

I just finished the Fault in our Stars. And yeah, tears were involved.

Day 65: Lost

I think we're all a bit lost. Lost in our minds. In the constant questions that linger in the back of our minds. And everything around us is either distracting us from the questions or attempting to to answer them.

Day 64: Awkward

I don't care about spelling bug off.

Now I'm not saying I have a monopoly on awkwardness, but babe I think I'm in the running. Homecoming was a mess. I hardly maneged to say anything that didn't sound dumb, and I only got one kiss goodbye, unlike the other kids. God I'm going to be a vergin forever. I heard via Facebook that my date went out and got drunk afterward. Without me.

Day 63: Alone

I went to the game tonight, even though there wasn't any school. My friends didn't leave a spot for me, so I sat by myself. Not even the weirdos would talk to me.

Day 62: Feeling

The problem with feelings, is they demand to be felt. - John Green

I get that.

Day 61: Testing and testing

Oh my god! We took the PSAT today and it was hell. they stick you in a room for four hours while this guy who isn't even your teacher yammers on for like forever and then eventually you get to start the test and it is both boring and stressful, and gurrrrrr. I am exhausted. Bye

Day 60: That's a big number!

Now go away; I need sleep.

Day 59: Coumbus Day

Life continues in much the way that it tends to. Friends continue to drift away. They didn't even leave me a spot at lunch. I got really into this video blogger who talks about her life mostly. I find it especially interesting when she talks about her life as a lesbian. It's important to understand other people's points of view. You know?

Also, Columbus was an asshat.

Day 58: How to know if you really like something

There is really one question that you have to ask yourself to find out if you really care about something. The question is; do I sound like a pretentious prick if I try to explain why I like it. Take my vary first post for example. I can tell I really like writing because trying to explain why is like trying to explain why I've cream tastes delicious, it just can't be done.

Day 57: Guys are assholes

So I finally got word from my homecoming date. Four words, via text. i wanna kiss u. I though we clicked. I thought we knew each other. I thought he understood me. It was all a lie. He just wanted to touch me. But... that's not what I want

Day 56: Tears

First, still no word come my homecoming date.

Second, I was chosen for junior homecoming princess. I wasn't really expecting it, given how little people have been talking to me, but I guess I'm still relevant.

Third: some poetry.

I can imagine her, the dying girl
When I close my eyes I see every conjure of her face etched into my sight
I can see her walk and talk, and smile and weep
My mind conjures up images of her life, warped by my own perception
I feel her pain.
I understand her place; a dying star
I can feel her slipping away.
Slipping like me,
Slipping back into the shadows.
The dying girl and I,

Day 55: Could be better

Do I got paired with the girl from choir and drama in Chem today. We were talking about the periodic table and electron configurations or something, and I'm fairly sure she thinks I'm a complete idiot. That could have gone better. There is a mandatory poetry reading for English on Monday, so maybe I can improve her impression. That would be nice.

Day 54: zucdgcfu

Dybxyhxthvyjrctcjccusxxuscfygu

Still no word.

Day 53: I can't even

I just can't. The Internet has been slow. My teachers have been absent. None of my friends are talking to me, without me saying something first. My patents are all up in arms about girls not being able to ask guys out. I can't even. I just can't.

Day 52: Nothing of substance

School, homework, writing, JV practice, bed. No word from the football suitor.

Awesome site check it out; http://effulgently.blogspot.com/p/365-days-straight.html?m=0

Day 51: No more boy

Ever since he asked me to homecoming I haven't heard from him. I want to be with him more than I want to be with him.

Day 50: Girls

They must be pretty, but can't try to hard
They must not friend-zone, but they can't be a slut
They must not fend for themselves, but they can't be useless
They must be good, but not a bore
They must
They must
They must

But they can never ever point these incongruities out

Day 49: ...

I really don't have anything to say except; government get your shit together.

Day 48: Non backspace free writer

Sobi didn't really do all gust Mughal today bb usually I spend my time talking about what I did or what I thought about, kinda like a diary but in my quest tob becalmed a better writer I decided to try out he idea sod a free write. Where you just sir down and type for a certain amount of time.

Yep.

Let me know if I should do this again. I'm talking to you one person who cares.

Day 47: One minute free write

Ready, set, go!

I could still remember the look on his face. The terrible twisted grin. The glowing red eyes. The stench of death had pervaded the air sending terrible chills down my spine.

Something tells me I nervous about something.

Tomorrow I'll do one without using backspace or fixing autocorrect.

Day 46: Gov

What the hell government? I was hanging out with my friend after school and Natalie brought up the topic. Apparently the republican part of the government decided they didn't want to deal with Obamacare or something and then the government had a temporary shut down. What the whole world makes you think that you can just stop the government because you are not getting your way! Dicks! What the hell? WHAT THE HELL?!?!

Natalie said more information can be found here.


Look at me all technology using and stuff! ;)

Day 45: Homecoming

Oh my god!!!!!!! Remember that hot guy from the football games? Well, he asked me to homecoming today!!! With roses and everything!!! It was so romantic. I am smitten.

Day 44: So, um, yeah

I was going to talk about how Natalie was being a bitch again, but then this tv advertisement came up and, well, I started to see her point. So the reason I'm so mad at Natalie is she started this supper controversial gay rights club. The announcement went out Friday which kind ruined my night. I thought she was just doing it to get noticed, but then this controversial was on.

The ad was this man talking about how wrong gay marriage is and how it is going to eying traditional marriage and everything is going to go down hill. Meanwhile my parents were nodding along and agreeing. Gay marriage is gross and against god's will and stuff. And the whole time I was thinking, isn't this the exact same reasons why slavery was considered okay?

I understand why Natalie is doing this now. She doesn't believe in slavery.

Day 43: Nice guy

I was going to talk about the football game, but you know what, I don't want to, so bug off. Okay?

Day 42: Finally

I finally started to feel better today. Everyone is still ignoring me but, at least my stomach is no longer trying to destroy me. Speaking of destroying me...

Day 41: Still sick

I still feel like shit, and look like shit. I can understand if no one talks to me ever again. I just feel so gross.

Day 40: Meh

I am unimpressed with today. Like nothing happened all day. No one was even talking about the perspective of me and cute boy from Friday together. What is up with people?

Day 39: OK

I feeling much better now it no longer feels like I have a porcupine stuffed down my throught. School  is tomorrow. It has been awful but now I'm OK.

Day 38: Crap

Now I'm one day off. This must be rectified.

Day 36:?

I missed a day again, I think. I really don't give a shit right now though. Of you don't like it eff off, OK. Nobody cares.

Day 36:

I feel like crap.

Day 35: Cutie

I met this supremely adorable guy at the football game tonight. He was tall with brown cuddly hair and this smile that lit up the, well I was going to say room but we were outside. I spent the whole first half trying to get up the courage to go and talk to him.

We made small talk for a while, then he asked me why I had come to talk with him, and I don't know why, but I told him the truth. There as something about him that made talking so simple. He started to talk about how it was usually the men who must make the first move. We got into this deep conversation about the objectification of women and how we still weren't truly equal. Before I knew it it was time to leave.  We swapped our phone numbers and agent our steps rate ways.

My friends were all excited that I had scored with such a hottie, but I felt something more then that. Its spears to find a man who understands and accepts that women are still persecuted.

Day 34: I thought

I thought I was good. I thought I could do it. I. I. I thought...

Day 33: Well that sucks

I didn't  make the cut.

Day 32: Tryouts

Soccer try outs were today. I did great! I think...

Day 31: Oh, fine

Ok, so the reason I was so pissed A while back was because on the bus ride home this bunch of boys from my grade were poking fun at some girl I hardly know. They were calling her a bitch and saying that it didn't matter what her personality was as long as she was hot. I can't believe that people actually feel comfortable saying these sort of things out loud, much less in public. Women are not just here for you to see, dipshits. Sexist, objectifying, womanizing assholes.

Day 30: Rage explanation

Nope, too tired. Goodnight.

Day 29: Continuing

And drive back to the library. I go back to reading and a couple of minuets later my parents come back. Their congratulating me, telling me I'm such a good kid for doing what they asked. It's so over the top I'm starting to feel guilty, but that goes away real quick. They notice the alcohol on my breath and my dad gets really mad and starts yelling. Eventually we get through out of the library for "talking too loudly."

And that's the reason why I didn't write yesterday. Also why day 28's post got cut off in the middle. My parents caught me and I barely had time to upload, much less finish the thought so sorry about that. You can rest happy knowing that another three days got added to my sentence. Thank goodness they go to bed early or you wouldn't have this post either. Now excuse me I'm going to go spell check day 28 now.

Day 28 (ish): Shame

Shame. I forgot a day. I am so sorry one person who reads these. I have a valid excuse though. My parents grounded me for a three whole weeks! Then how are you writing this now, you ask. I snuck upstairs while my parents were out at some dinner party or something. But don't worry I should have plenty of time.

So the reason I have been sent to the pit of eternal suffering for a three is, well, do you remember that party I was talking about a few weeks ago, the one to commemorate the end of summer, the one that my parents didn't want me to go to so I had to go to the library instead. So anyway, I went to the library all calm and complaisant, and asked if I could go read by myself.  My parents agreed so as soon as they turned their backs, I grabbed the car and drove the few miles to the party. I hung out for a while, had a few drinks, heard about Mandy and Tod's breakup , then snuck out he back while no one was looking. It is so not cool to say you have to leave early, let them think I'm in one of the upstairs rooms with Josh or Maric. Like I would ever jump one of their bones.

Where was I, oh, then I get back in the car a

Day 27: RAGE!!!

I AM jeksoosindGehsheusjdbxudbhdhehbshuc. U eh he chbsdbud cisjhichudhdu eubbdhdbh s. chic h I in idnj cjncindj beunnwikwnuxdin. Cush cuncbj USB chjsjuusqjndjjcn curb. I  j. Ndnnc coke. JFK fusing. Ugggggggggggguahhhhhhhhhh!!

so mad.
Tell you tomorrow. I need to cool down.

Day 26: Regrets

I was sick today. It's ironic. The first day I'm not sad about going to school and I get sick. I didn't even have that much fun at home. I mostly just sat around twiddling my thumbs. I'm sure by now you're practically shaking waiting for me to tell you what's so special about today. Well, not that much really I had English, which for the first time, we actually got to talk about interesting English. I also had class with Beth. She's this hot girl that for some reason chose geeks over cheerleaders. She has such a wonderful view point and depth to her I look forward to siting next to her. She couldn't think less of me though. I wish she liked me.

Day 25: Aspirations

I want to be a choir kid. I know that sounds weird coming from a cheerleader, but I really do. Not the singing part, I couldn't care less. It's the dynamic. The way that they know each other so well. They talk about things I don't understand, but they get so into it I wish I did. I want to have that kind of relationship with someone. I know I will never be like them. My type, we always hide our selves so we don't get hurt. The the choir they care so much it makes me hurt to look at them. All that passion. My silly little aspiration.

Day 24: Pain

My head hearts.

Day 23: Weekends

I must interrupt my usual street of bad poetry and social issues to discuss the terrible flaw of weekends. It is as if the person who came up with the idea wanted to find the exact number of days that would simultaneously give you hope of joy and not let you enjoy yourself because it is too short and full of homework and piles of other shit that you had to save for the weekend because the week proper is too full. Aaaaaarghaaaah!


Ok, I'm done now.

Day 22: Syria

I have a feeling this may be a little late coming out because it takes time to type, but I need to get this out there. I can imagine what it would be like to be a victim. Your chest compressing, not being able to breath, every mussel tight, the absolute helplessness. I can't believe someone could do that could willingly kill so many people this way. This needs to stop. I don't know what the right answer is, I just know what happened is wrong. I have to help. I don't know how yet, but I need to. I need to.

Day 21: Yay

I am so happy. Sarcasm! I came down with a terrible cold today, which means I couldn't attend the football game tonight, and it was the first game of the season too! And just in case you're getting the wrong idea that I actually care about a bunch of misogynistic burly boys running about and smashing into each other, I'll let you know I don't care. Why does anyone think of that as a good time? Most of the other girls spend there time imagining the boys naked, and trying to pick out the hottest one, but I couldn't care less. Of course the idea of naked guys makes me hot but running around smashing into each other just isn't interesting. The only reason I show up is it is practically hanging your social life's noose if you don't show. So many things happen and if you're not in on the action something must be wrong with you. But some part of my rejoices at having an excuse not to go.

Day 20: Remodel

You may have noticed the theme change that accompanied yesterday's post. I wanted to focuss more on writing espeshaly with all the new school drama and equally terrible math. So yaaay! New theme!

Day 19: Tick

Tick. Tick. Tick. Goes the sterilized metal clock hanging by a rusty nail from the poorly plastered wall. It's hollow, metallic ring resonated through my empty scull demolishing any thought beginning to swell forth. The smell of old rug mixed with the stench of various perfumes fill the sale air. Some kid across the room sniffles. Tick. Tick. Tick. Above the constant dull monotony of the room clock a teacher speaks in a drone. Words spill forth like water from a faucet. Constant. Drip. The blank dirty white walls seem to swallow the room.  Slowly sucking it up till there is nothing left but peeling paint and crooked staples. Tick. Tick. Tick. The room slowly fades to black. Flashing once before disappearing behind a black curtain. Black.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

I wrote this during English. I liked the idea of describing a extremely boring scene in detail. The idea Of falling asleep came from running out of time. I also like how it is sort of ambiguous about if the person died or not. And if you don't like it go away because this is my blog and I wanted to do a micro story. Haha. Like the Internet actually cares.

Day 18: School grrrrrr

I'm so fed up with the way schools work. There is absolutely no room for people who don't fit this box. Anyone who is different is picked on and shoved into a corner until they conform to the already existing ideas.

Day 17: Sorry and eek

Sorry to no one at all for failing to give a very good post yesterday. I got totally forgot until it was almost to late. Let this blog stand as a testimony to the addictive qualities of YouTube.

On an unrelated note. Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!! School is tomorrow. I'm not so much scared for the first day, as I am scared for all the days afterward. It's the beginning of an era and, I don't know if I like it.

Day 16: Aaaaah

11:59 and I'm done!

Day 15: School

The amount of not wanting to go to school in me astounding. I'm stressed out about keeping good grades, dealing with Natalie's shit, and not making an idiot out of myself. I have to keep this valence between friends, and parents and teachers. I have to act like I don't care about school around my friends, and I have to act like I really care around my parents and teachers. I have to get good grades, but not let anyone know. I have to do bad on tests that my friends will ask me what I got on, and I have to get good grades for the things my parents will ask about. I shoot for C's mostly. I don't even know how good I really am. I don't even know what I want anymore.

Day 14: I never liked football anyway

I didn't go the the practice game, I came down with the my-stomach-hurts-because-I-am-too-stressed-out. Also I didn't want to go, instead I stayed home and worked on my new short story. I felt way better than I would have at the game, but I'm going to feel the consequences when school starts. There is nothing like starting a new school year without all the major gossip. Everyone is going to think I'm so lame. I guess I'll get what I deserve.

Day 13: Football and no

I don't want to go to the stupid football practice tomorrow. I don't wanna. No. Shh. I got this. I can do it. I can. I can. I can do this, sitback and watch me, or just read about whatever happens tomorrow.


I will!

Day 12: Endings

I finished a short story today. It was a love story between two high schoolers. Bunch of bullshit. But I finished so, yay. I guess I should be more happy. I spent a long time working in this project. The thing is, whenever I finish something this big it feels like everything I've been working for is done. I have nothing left. I feel as though an entire portion of my life has ended. An era. By thinking that I think it makes it true. I feel as though I've entered a new part of my life. Junior year is ahead of me, everything before is history, filled out by a younger version of myself.

Or maybe not. Does it really even matter?

Day 11: Fame: part 1 - Fame and Intrest

No I know I have absolutely no Internet fame, and I am so not claiming I do, but this idea came to me a few days back and I have to share. When I first started this I thought it was going to be a lot more of these deep ideas, but it turns out it is really hard to come up with a deep idea every day

Instead of deep ideas I had to turn to my own life to have something to say, and it seems like the more I write the more interesting my life becomes. It's as though the very act of thinking that your life may be interesting to someone else causes it to be more interesting. There are two potential reasons that I thought of for this change in thinking.

First it could be that your perspective on your life changes. All of a sudden you start thinking about your life in terms of what would be interesting to hear about. And you start noticing that there are things that seem like they could be interesting. It's sort of like watching a best 'best of'  video about your life.

Or it could be that the thought of trying to find interesting things in your life changes the way that you live. Because you want to tell people how awesome you are you become awesome to fit what you want others to think of you. If this is true then this blog could have changed the way I live, literally.


Oh, and if you were wondering about the part 1 thing I am planing to do a mini series kind of thing, but I may abandon it if it doesn't work for me.

Day 10: More parents

I was thinking about the question I asked yesterday, about why parents are so control freakish about their children's lives. I think it has to do with the feeling of responsibility. See you used to be this tiny little thing that couldn't do anything for its self, and they had to do everything. They had to feed you, and dress you, and house you. You couldn't do anything for your self, but slowly you got older, and you started being able to do things for yourself. In their heads you still can't do anything, and they continue to find the need to control what you do, because before you couldn't do it. What makes them think you can now?

I still think that this does not absolve parents of being dick heads. Once someone is able to drive a car that can fracking kill someone, they should be able to make their own desisions.

Day 9: Parents!

The thing with parents is they are always trying to controll who you are. They say it's for your protection, and I'm sure they believe that most of the time, but that can't always be true. Like how will not being popular help me in any way. It will just cause me to be in a living hell again! It's as if they never attended high school.

My parents are big believers in the crap idea that you should be who you are, and that then everything in your life will just fall into place. That's a load of shit. If you want something you have to lie and cheat and steal. If you want something done you have to do it yourself, nothing is for free. I learned that the hard way, and I'm not a retard, once is enough.

Anyhow, back to the problem at hand. Obviously, something happened to make me start raving at my parents. So what is it? Well Rachel and her boyfriend Mark are hosting this party at Rachel's in a week to celebrate the new school year.  Everybody who is anybody is going to be there. There is just one tiny problem. Rachel's parents aren't going to be home and my mom doesn't think "Rachel is the kind of person who makes good decisions all the time." I responded to this with, "Soap she doesn't always make good decisions about friends?" She nods hoping I've come to my senses. "But, mom, I'm her friend!" I even made my bottom lip quiver. She didn't have a good response to that, but she still won't let me go.  Instead she is taking me to the library for five whole hours, insisting that I used to love the library.

Why do parents feel like they need to control their children's lives, even up to the point of telling them what they want?

Day 8: Aaaah!

I was nearly asleep when I realized I hadn't done one of these yet.

I spent a lot of the day trying to come up with an idea for nanorimo. It's to late for spellcheck! I think I am going to tell a scifi story about a future where you get a list of who you are going to be when your 13. Who knows I'll probably change my mind six more times before then.

Day 7: Camp

Yay! Finally done with soccer camp. I had no idea something I loved so much could become so twisted. I spent the whole time trying to dodge Natalie. It's almost as if she still thought we were friends. It's probably a ploy to get me to be friends with her again, now that I've proven I can stay on top even without Andy. She sees I'm strong and wants in. Well guess what? That door closed a long time back, bitch!

On the bright side there was a party afterwards and I got to hang with my soccer girlfriends. They're all trying out for the school team, but I can't because I have cheer. Sometimes you have to do things you don't like to stay on top. I don't think I would like it much anyway, to much competition tainting the game, it would look good to colleges though...

Day 6: Natalie

Like I said, wrote? yesterday today is all about Natalie.

I met Natalie three years ago, now it feels like an eternity. I was a different person back then.we shared the same math class. We bonded over our shared hatered of the subject. I had never met anyone like her. She was a fantastic artist, and I remember clearly the first time I saw one of her drawings, I was so amazed. She was smart and pritty and opinioned. I wanted to know her, but truth be told we were never very good friends. I hate to admitt it, but most of my friends back then were, well, geeks.

Then everything changed. I met this boy, Andrew. We started going out and suddenly I was Westlake High's new it girl. Everyone knew me. I loved it. My time with Andrew was the best time of my life. We went to football games, hang out in parks, and rejoiced in the beam of light that show on us, the peak of the crap heap.

Six months later, out of the blue, he dumped me. Everything I had was gone, my boy, my friends, my life, I had to work so hard just to keep from going under, but that isn't the half of it. I made a mistake. I took a nude photo and gave it to Andy. He had been pressuring me for weeks, and eventually I just gave in. I didn't think it would ever get out, but no one ever does. Long story short, the picture got out, and a few days later word gets out that Andy is dating noneother than Naralie, and they had been dating long before we broke up.

Now I know Andy could be a dick sometimes, but he would have never done that. It had to be Natalie. It took me months to build back up my reputation after what that entitled bitch did to me. She just thinks she can take whatever she wants, and through it out when she's done. As if that wasn't enough only a month after all this went down, natalie comes out as being gay.

That whore stole my boyfriend, and my life, just to decide that she didn't want him anyway! I got my eye on you still gay girl.

Day 5: Technology

Technology sucks.

I had a really long post and my phone lost it all, so make do with this. Natalie's post tomorrow

Day 4: Intitled people

I realize just now that what I said about Natalie yesterday may have come off as rather cruel, but let me tell you this; there is a story for that and I'll get to it soon, but not today.

Today I'm going to tallk about more of Natalie's shit.

So both Natalie and I are in this soccer camp for like a week. It's not to long and it doesn't feature a lot of cometitive games, anyway Natalie is on the same side as me and she was always giving me hints, as if I, of all people, couldn't play a stupid game. I'm better than her, and she knowes it. She just trying to through me off my game. Well, she doesn't know who she's messing with. Bring it on!

Day 3: Ugh

I'm so wiped out. I just finished a friendly soccer game with my friends and now all of my limbs ache. I am ashamed to admit it but we lost. It was Natalie's fault. If she didn't score that last goal we would have won. Ugh. She's not even my friend she is Jessica's. She's always acting like she knows me. Do I have to spell it out for her? We aren't friends. She is just some know nothing entitled brat. UGH!

Day two: introductions

So I totally spaced that you don't already know who I am, so today I'm going to tell you a bit about myself. My English teacher would hate my use of "I'm going to tell you," but she can't read this. Haha.

Anyhow, my name is Nina Lucas, I am sixteen years old and live in California, and I love to wright. It's the idea that I can create an entire universe separate from this one. There are infinite possibilities! Why am I trying to explain this to you?! Either you get it or you don't. I wouldn't say I'm popular, but I'm def not a dweeb who's only life is on here. I like playing soccer and hanging with my friends. Oh, and don't tell anybody cuz they think it's nerdy, but I totally love to read. Hope that's good enough.

Moving on, I finally got some writing done today. Summer is great if you actually use it, but its just so much more fun to spend a day at the beach. So the story is about this girl who gets turned into a vampire, except she doesn't know what kind of vampire she is because all of the lore is mixed up. Shut up, it is too original. Anyway, I'm not that far through it, so who know how it'll turn out.

I gota go now it's getting to late but I will be back tomorrow. Promise. and if there is one thing you learn about me, let it be this; I don't break my promises.

Day 1: Ideas

The best time for brilliant ideas is probably not 11 o'clock laying on your bed listening to Florence + the Machine and staring at the ceiling, but creativity is a fickle thing. I've always wondered what it's like to just get struck with an idea. One minute your staring into space thinking about the cute guy in math and the next thing you know, BAM! An idea hits you and suddenly you know what your life is about. Well, now I know, except for the whole knowing what your life is about. Basically it just feels like you had an idea except faster, and significantly more awesome. So here I am.

By now you've probably already guessed what the life changing idea was, starting a blog. I know what you're thinking; not the most original idea, no one is ever going to read it, you're not going to get popular this way, if that what you're thinking, well suck it. You are about to experience the most awesome blog ever..maybe not that awesome, but still - It's going to rock.